When depression is a luxury!!
Now, it's about 5 minutes before my shift at work ends.
I've had a very long day, doing everything possible so i won't stay alone to myself and thoughts.
It's been couple of days, actually a week or more that I've been having this tendency to depression.
Since the very first minute until now I still didn't have the time when i can be depressed and left alone to my darkness and mind.
A typical advise from psychiatrist would be, socialize, do some physical activity,...etc. Whatever just not to give you the chance to have that luxury. As much as the word depressed sound sad and dark, I think it's still an instinct that we've got to satisfy or at least, I have got to satisfy.
I do need this time when i'd be left to my own dark corner, however being an adult I don't think would give such a chance. There's always the social and professional obligations. You can't sacrifice your career obligations and commitments just because you're depressed. Neither time nor life will stop to wait up for you.
Today I have to go to a course and I can't skip it at any cost, My phone is going to ring tonight because it's my mom wants to say hello and feel I'm OK, then I'm waiting for a friend to call because we need to arrange for time tomorrow to meet up, to go fix our both monitors before it's time for the gym, and before my night shift starts. During all these interactions and actions, I'll have to mentain a stable state of mind and emotions.
Today I've reached my climax during the passed week when i most felt that I need to be left alone in my box. Can I have that time?
Time to go.
Salam.
Now, it's about 5 minutes before my shift at work ends.
I've had a very long day, doing everything possible so i won't stay alone to myself and thoughts.
It's been couple of days, actually a week or more that I've been having this tendency to depression.
Since the very first minute until now I still didn't have the time when i can be depressed and left alone to my darkness and mind.
A typical advise from psychiatrist would be, socialize, do some physical activity,...etc. Whatever just not to give you the chance to have that luxury. As much as the word depressed sound sad and dark, I think it's still an instinct that we've got to satisfy or at least, I have got to satisfy.
I do need this time when i'd be left to my own dark corner, however being an adult I don't think would give such a chance. There's always the social and professional obligations. You can't sacrifice your career obligations and commitments just because you're depressed. Neither time nor life will stop to wait up for you.
Today I have to go to a course and I can't skip it at any cost, My phone is going to ring tonight because it's my mom wants to say hello and feel I'm OK, then I'm waiting for a friend to call because we need to arrange for time tomorrow to meet up, to go fix our both monitors before it's time for the gym, and before my night shift starts. During all these interactions and actions, I'll have to mentain a stable state of mind and emotions.
Today I've reached my climax during the passed week when i most felt that I need to be left alone in my box. Can I have that time?
Time to go.
Salam.
posted by Myxa at
6:56 PM
1 Comments:
You are absolutely right and you are putting it extremely well. Depression is indeed a luxury. I would also add, solitude is a blessing as long as you can handle it. The problem is, people who care about you will do everyhting in their power to get you out of this depression by being more attentive and more present, depriving you of the very sweet loneliless you are longing for. They mean well though.
A plutonic person like yourself would certainly enjoy being left alone, hence your use of "luxury" is quite befitting. However, my dear boy, and as you might know, very few will agree with you on that connotation.
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